Hello to my blog, people who have just come from Facebook! This is a special repost for you.
Again I am on public transport.
I don't know why I stick with it - I could drive - but perhaps it's out of some kind of environmental (and now socio-political, given the war in Iraq) responsibility I feel to support mass transit; or perhaps it's due to some quaint notion that Melbourne's public transport actually provides some service. That's more weltschmertz to deal with, as Melbourne's system disappoints me at every turn.
So my sister and I catch the 477 10:50am bus from our home. A strange, totally empty bus passes us, unmarked and the driver doesn't look us in the eye. We wonder why. Is it late? Was it canceled? The unaccountability of buses is bloody amazing. They can cancel buses at whim and never have to announce it, all the while still calling their lacklustre bus line a "service" - how Orwellian! The actual bus is over 5 minutes late, being driven by the rudest driver I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. This guy has also driven off on me twice, while I was clearly standing there right in front of the door, waving at him to keep the fucken things from closing on me. This guy doesn't ever look you in the eye, doesn't bother to answer your questions about how much a given ticket is with full sentences, and enjoys waiting past the due time at time checkpoints and then driving the bus, Keeanu Reeves in Speed style, in an attempt to drift the long vehicle down the back lanes of Moonee Ponds.
Jay Chow stars in Initial D II: Revenge of the Bus Driver's Union!
We found out why the bus was late. It was packed with mums with prams and teenagers rocking their Motorolla RAZRs and iPods. Run more buses, Tullamarine Bus Company.
For the first time ever, I saw bus inspectors! Yes, that's right - you heard it here first. The Gestapo are now working on all of Melbourne's public transport systems.
They got on at the depot, resplendent in their regulation uniforms and imperious manner. Surely they knew the bus was running horrendously late. They actually announced to us to all "get our tickets ready for inspection." Also of note was that fact that there were five or six buses just sitting there, so lonely, without anyone to drive them. I said:
He said yeah: "And I don't give my permission for you to take a photo of me, and put it on your blog or youtube, or whatever."
Yes sir.
There is surely some kind of broken logic working here. Perhaps the government regulators of our system live in a parallel universe, where logic is not logic. Why else would the transport minister ask her colleagues not to forward complaints from regular citizens regarding her portfolio?
I get to Essendon (or Moonee Ponds?) train station. Trains canceled. Connex apologies for my inconvenience for the eight-thousandth time. The next thing must be SEEN to be believed. They make us wait 20 minutes, with the "time till train arrives" changing with no regard to the real time, moving backwards and forwards ALL ON ITS OWN. 20 minutes later, when the next train is due, the announcements says that the original train has come. 20 minutes late - it's actually the NEXT train - I wonder if they get fined less for late trains rather than canceled trains?
Maybe this fuxn thing happened:
From the heart of hell I stab at thee! Comment if you hate Connex.
Again I am on public transport.
I don't know why I stick with it - I could drive - but perhaps it's out of some kind of environmental (and now socio-political, given the war in Iraq) responsibility I feel to support mass transit; or perhaps it's due to some quaint notion that Melbourne's public transport actually provides some service. That's more weltschmertz to deal with, as Melbourne's system disappoints me at every turn.
So my sister and I catch the 477 10:50am bus from our home. A strange, totally empty bus passes us, unmarked and the driver doesn't look us in the eye. We wonder why. Is it late? Was it canceled? The unaccountability of buses is bloody amazing. They can cancel buses at whim and never have to announce it, all the while still calling their lacklustre bus line a "service" - how Orwellian! The actual bus is over 5 minutes late, being driven by the rudest driver I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. This guy has also driven off on me twice, while I was clearly standing there right in front of the door, waving at him to keep the fucken things from closing on me. This guy doesn't ever look you in the eye, doesn't bother to answer your questions about how much a given ticket is with full sentences, and enjoys waiting past the due time at time checkpoints and then driving the bus, Keeanu Reeves in Speed style, in an attempt to drift the long vehicle down the back lanes of Moonee Ponds.
Jay Chow stars in Initial D II: Revenge of the Bus Driver's Union!
We found out why the bus was late. It was packed with mums with prams and teenagers rocking their Motorolla RAZRs and iPods. Run more buses, Tullamarine Bus Company.
For the first time ever, I saw bus inspectors! Yes, that's right - you heard it here first. The Gestapo are now working on all of Melbourne's public transport systems.
They got on at the depot, resplendent in their regulation uniforms and imperious manner. Surely they knew the bus was running horrendously late. They actually announced to us to all "get our tickets ready for inspection." Also of note was that fact that there were five or six buses just sitting there, so lonely, without anyone to drive them. I said:
My ticket for inspection? You mean the one I had validate to get past the driver to get on? Like the one my sister had to to buy off the driver when we got on?God, I hate running through rules imposed arbitrarily, like some poor show dog jumping through hoops repeatedly at its owner's whim.
He said yeah: "And I don't give my permission for you to take a photo of me, and put it on your blog or youtube, or whatever."
Yes sir.
There is surely some kind of broken logic working here. Perhaps the government regulators of our system live in a parallel universe, where logic is not logic. Why else would the transport minister ask her colleagues not to forward complaints from regular citizens regarding her portfolio?
I get to Essendon (or Moonee Ponds?) train station. Trains canceled. Connex apologies for my inconvenience for the eight-thousandth time. The next thing must be SEEN to be believed. They make us wait 20 minutes, with the "time till train arrives" changing with no regard to the real time, moving backwards and forwards ALL ON ITS OWN. 20 minutes later, when the next train is due, the announcements says that the original train has come. 20 minutes late - it's actually the NEXT train - I wonder if they get fined less for late trains rather than canceled trains?
Maybe this fuxn thing happened:
From the heart of hell I stab at thee! Comment if you hate Connex.
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